Beware of Muggles
by xxgambitxx
Summary: When me and my slightly off muggle friends go to Hogwarts, what madness will begin? How will the students react to muggles in their common rooms, and classes? Worth a laugh, c'mon chaps. Will they ever stop stalking poor Harry and Draco?
1. Magic Box

I do not own Harry Potter or anything else related, I do however own the following characters. Or well, I don't exactly own them either, but er. -blank stare- Just enjoy.

The story if me and my friends ever went to Hogwarts, oh the madness!

Me (Nicole) -14. 5'2. Black blue curly hair.

Breanne (Bre)-14. 5'3. Choppy brown with chunks of blond hair.

Victoria (Vicki) 14. 5'4. Short red hair with blond pieces.

Dominique (Dee) 14. 5'4. Medium brown hair with blond streaks.

Kaylyn-14. 5'4. medium brown hair with black streaks.

Janelle 5'3 Long brown hair with blond streaks.

So, there's just a quick description. Personality wise...I'm crazy I suppose, Breanne is sly, Victoria is witty, Dee is clueless, Kaylyn is mature and Janelle is loud. So there you have it, and here's our story.

It's taken in...hrm, 4th year I suppose. -cries- Oh, sweet Oliver Wood has already graduated...

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Nicole found herself sprawled across the floor, dying of boredrum.

"I'm BOOOOREDDD!" she bellowed, banging and thrashing around on the floor.

Breanne slipped on her boxy glasses and peered down at her, before making a chirping noise and returning her gaze on the television. Victoria and Kaylyn were also at Nicole's, on the L shaped couch, watching some Spongebob Sqaurepants.

"You pipe down!" Vicki said to her, in her high pitched voice.

"Your just a big sticky river," Breanne said mysteriously before sipping her Pepsi. The doorbell rang, and since Nicole, Bre and Vicki were now gazing at the TV, Kaylyn sighed and jogged upstairs to answer the door. She could see Dominique's and Janelle's silhouette through the glass door, then opened it.

"Hey, " Dee greeted stepping in with Janelle.

"What have you got there?" Kaylyn asked Janelle, eying a box she held. Janelle winked through her glasses and tore downstairs. Dee and Kaylyn blinked, then followed after there.

"CAKE? HAVE YOU GOT CAKE?' Nicole shouted once she spotted Janelle with her box, then crawled over and pawed at Janelle's legs. Breanne, interested as well, folded her arms and threw her head back and roared like a dinosaur.

"It's a magic box!" Janelle said excitedly. The friends all circled around it and watched carefully as Janelle lifted the top, and inside was a small bag of what looked like was sprinkles. Kaylyn gently lifted the sack up and held it for everyone to see.

"Magic dust, I concur," Vicki said poking it, and it sparkled for a moment.

"Let's make a wish!" Breanne said slowly extending her hand to grab it.

"NO NO NO," Janelle hollered then grabbed it and cradled it.

"We all have to decided on the wish," Kaylyn pointed out, and everyone sat and pondered for a moment, when Nicole suddenly leaped over everyone and grabbed the bag. Janelle tried to tear it away, and it suddenly flew everywhere, and landed over everyone, and then suddenly a force pulled everyone back into a spinning vortex and they suddenly landed on some damp grass.

"Oh bubbletrumps," Breanne said, having landed on top of the pile. Everyone grumbled and rolled out of the pile of bodies, and stood up, facing a castle.

"What the," Dee said staring.

"Where are we?" Janelle asked slowly.

"Oh me gosh," Kaylyn whispered. "It's Hogwarts!" she breathed.

"Okay who's the wise guy who wished us upon here?" Vicki demanded, spinning around staring everyone down, until finally Breanne and Nicole slowly raised their hands slowly, wearing goofy smiles.

"WHY I'D OUTTA," Vicki said raising her hand to smack them.

"Wait! Listen!" Kaylyn said and they all fell silent, hearing voices. The girls walked off the wet grounds and towards were the voices were coming from.

"This is impossible, there's no such thing as Hogwarts, it's just books," Dee said flatly. Bre and Nicole turned around and growled at her, and Dee whimpered and dove and hid behind Kaylyn. Nicole and Breanne ran ahead, and peered around the corner into the Great Hall, their eyes wide.

"OH MY GOD, IT'S HARRY POTTER!" Nicole shouted, and everyone in the Great Hall fell silent, and spun around in their seats and stared. Nicole tore across the Great Hall, preparing to launch herself onto the Boy Who Lived, when Dumbledore flicked his wand and she froze in mid air.

"Muggles! At Hogwarts!" someone screamed.

The rest of the friends sheepishly exposed themselves, and peeked into the Great Hall.  
"Well hi!" Vicki said putting on her high pitched voice.

"How extraordinary..." Dumbledore said dodging past the girl in mid air and walking towards them. "How has this happened?"

"Magic dust," Janelle said happily.

"Ah, well, we will have to return you 6 home immediately,"

"YOU CAN'T!" Breanne, Vicki and Kaylyn shouted. Bre dived on her knees and cupped her hands under her chin and stuck out her lip and looked up at Dumbledore with big, pleading eyes. "Please sir, your majesty, your greatness, your ultra superior-"

"Hem hem," Kaylyn interrupted.

"Oh please let us stay!" Breanne begged. "Golly gee whiz,"

"It's highly unusual," Dumbledore said eying Nicole, who was still frozen in mid air. "Muggles have never attended Hogwarts, they cannot possee the magic and-"

"But we know everything!" Vicki said in a whiny voice. "We read all the books, saw the movies, we even have your action figures!" she said whipping her figurine of Dumbledore out of her plaid jacket.

"Books, movies?" Dumbledore repeated, puzzled. "What ever do you mean,"

"Uh, nevermind," Kaylyn mumbled.

"So what do you say?" Breanne said winking at him.

"Well, I suppose..." he said thoughtfully. "Until we figure out how to return you home,".

The girls burst into cheers and Dumbledore unfroze Nicole, who cheered as well.

"You'll need to be placed in houses, of course, Professor Flitwick, if you please, the Sorting Hat?" The Headmaster asked, and the Charms teacher took off to fetch it.

Nicole, Kaylyn, Breanne and Vicki were all excitedly pointing out characters from which they knew, and Janelle and Dominique coughed awkwardly. The little man returned later with the 3 legged stool and the Sorting Hat, and the 4 girls eagerly approached it, while the other two lagged behind.

"Me first!" Vicki shouted jumping on the chair, and the hat was placed on her head.

"Oh no not more students...not more..." The Sorting Hat grumbled. "Muggles...I will not sort Muggles...". Dumbledore coughed loudly and the old hat sighed. "Fine fine...let's just get this over with...GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindors stared slightly, and only several of them clapped. Next up was Breanne, who walked over and sat down.

"A smarty pants eh? RAVENCLAW!" he shouted. The Ravenclaws too, didn't know how to act, and Breanne skipped over and sat down, and several students shifted away from her.

Nicole stepped up, and the hat was then placed on her. "Hm, since there's no house for the insane, I sense evil plots in your mind, no doubt you'll be in SLYTHERIN!".

Nicole, slightly crestfallen that she wouldn't be in Gryffindor where she had plans to stalk the trio, glumily sat over at the Slytherin table.

"This is absurd! Muggles at Hogwarts!" Draco hissed to Crabbe and Goyle. "Much worst then Mudbloods, wait until my father hears about this.."

"Your puuurdy," Nicole said, suddenly on his lap, stroking his cheek.

Shocked that she was suddenly over there, he pushed her aside. "Get off of me!"

Next to be sorted was Dominique, who nervously picked her way up to the front then sat down with the hat on her head.

"Ehh...HUFFLEPUFF," the hat said, starting to get lazy. Dee blinked and slid off the chair and sat with the other Hufflepuffs.

Kaylyn sat next on the chair, and was sorted into Ravenclaw, were she sat next to Breanne happily. And last was Janelle, who was also sorted into Slytherin.

"YEAHHH! YEAHH OH MAN! RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE!" Nicole sat standing on her chair and pelvic thrusting, while Janelle ran over, pounding on her chest and roaring approval. The Slytherins stared, and the other houses snickered at their misfortune.

Dumbledore too, who was standing up at the teachers table stared at the new students, then coughed. "I hope," he said loudly over Nicole and Janelle who finally quieted down. "Our current students will be kind and helpful to our new students, and...". He shook his head in disbelief. "Goodnight," he said sitting down. 


	2. Co Co Cola

(Love, its' a beautiful thing, ain't it? -winks-)

All the girls departed and headed to their common rooms. Dee, who was alone in Hufflepuff, hurried to bed. Vicki, alone as well, made herself comfortable in the Gryffindor Tower. 

"Hey gois!" she said bouncing over to Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger.

"Er, hi," Ron said uneasily, glancing at his two friends. Harry looked away, but Hermione however, smiled brightly at Victoria, and held out her hand to check.

"This is so interesting! Muggles at Hogwarts, can you imagine?" she said.

Vicki seized her hand and shook it up and down, before kicking off her shoes and sprawling across the couch. All the Gryffindors were watching her curiously and cautiously. Hermione eyed her Muggle clothing.

"I expect you'll be given robes tomorrow, along with our timetables," she explained.

"Vonderful," Victoria said, then pulled Harry and Ron, who were drifting by, down beside her on the couch and put her arms around them.

"How are you," she asked nicely, then patted Ron's knee.

"Um fine," Ron said slightly wide eyed.

"Good, yourself," Harry said quietly.

"Oh I wish I had glasses like these babys," Vicki said grabbing his glasses and putting them on. "Fancy that!" she said jumping off the couch and examining herself in a near by mirror.

"She's mad!" Ron whispered to Hermione and Harry, who was groping the air, searching for his glasses.  
Hermione frowned at him disapprovingly. "I'd hate to see these Muggles with wands," the red head went on. "And keeping up in our classes! How will they manage?"

"I don't know," Hermione whispered back, shaking her head. "I don't know,".

Kaylyn and Breanne sat in the Ravenclaw common room, sitting quietly. Kaylyn was sitting properly, with one leg crossed over the other, hands nicely folded in front of her. Breanne however squirmed around in her chair, and when a Ravenclaw boy looked at her oddly she turned to him.

"There's ants in my pants," she told him sadly. He got wide eyed then backed away slightly.

"Hey guys," Breanne said eying a group of boys. "Guys, I see you over there guys,". She pulled something out of her pocket. "You want some Co-Co Cola? Do you?"

The boys stared, then glanced down at her pop drink, then shuffled away.  
"Breanne, Bre," Kaylyn said calmly and rubbing her back. "We're in Hogwarts, everyone doesn't know what you know, and they also think your crazy," she added as nicely as possible.

Breanne's brow bunched together in a mad face, and she stood up doing a dino impression and roared angrily. A group of first years who were standing near by yelped and ran across the common room.

"Breanne, sit down," Kaylyn instructed, and Breanne reluctantly slid down and sat down, then curled into a ball and purred, then fell asleep. Kaylyn sighed, and mouthed 'sorry' to the Ravenclaws, before glancing away into the fireplace.

Janelle and Nicole had taken over the common room. They ran around, yelling rowdily, and hoping and jumping all over the furniture. Nicole jumped up on a table and did the Macarena, and Janelle jammed to some imaginary music. The Slytherins all stood on the other side of the common room, watching them with dislike, annoyance aching on their faces.

Nicole jumped over to them, and put her hands in the air and clapped. "Put your hands up in the air, put your hands up, in the air," she sang waving them back and forth, while Janelle swayed.

Draco Malfoy broke out of the Slytherin group. "ENOUGH!" he yelled. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nutters," some of the Slytherins muttered, nodding.

"Well I did paint quite the lovely picture today," Nicole said giving him the thumbs up.

"I don't care what you did, I just want to know what's wrong with you!"

"Oh, you know," she said shrugging, and he stared. He glanced at Janelle, who was staring at him in a sort of trance. She breathed heavily, and a pool of drool gathered around her, and formed a puddle around her. A Slytherin boy walked by and slipped in it, then fell unconscious, but no one seemed to pay much attention.

"I'm in love," she said dreamily to Nicole, who was making smacking noises and looking around.

"With who, this fella here?" she asked pointing down.

"NO, him!" she said poking at Draco.

Nicole peeked at him, then scrunched up her nose. "I see, well good night," she said skipping up to the girls dormitories and falling asleep in the middle of the stairs. After all, the next day was first day of classes, and the girls needed their rest.

(Shorter, yes I know, but don't you whipper snappers worry! -wags a finger-


	3. Dance Off

(I doubt anyone is really reading this. I gotten most of my friends who are in it to read it, and they find it hilarious, as its packed with little inside jokes...but for those of you who actually read it, I hope you find it funny and enjoy!)

It was the first day of classes. Everyone piled into the Great Hall for breakfast, and received their time tables as well, and the Muggle girls received handy down robes, wands, and spell books.

"Don't we look sharp?" Nicole asked Janelle, puffing out her chest so her Slytherin badge catch the light and shined, then she licked her index finger and swiped it over her black/blue hair, and glanced around impressively.

Janelle, who was oggling over Draco, simply bobbed her head, leaning on her fist, gazing at Draco. Her elbow slipped and she fell face first into her porridge. Nicole blinked at her, then got up and skipped over to the Ravenclaw table to greet Kaylyn and Breanne.

Kaylyn was looking proper her robes, and Breanne seemed to have put them on backwards.

"Morning masters," Nicole greeted. Kaylyn nodded and smiled, and Breanne soared from her seat and tackled Nicole, and licked her cheek in welcoming.

"Hi to you too," Nicole said shoving her off, and Breanne tumbled away under the table and out of site.

"What's your first class?" Kaylyn asked Nicole.

"That thing with the thingies," she replied.

Kaylyn stared at her, and turned to see Dee approaching. "Hullo," she greeted.

"Hey," she greeted, but she was smiling slyly.

"WOT YOU SMILING ABOUT?" Nicole yelled, making several students nearby jump.

Dee leaned in. "I like this guy," she whispered. Even Breanne crept back up from under the table. "Who?" she asked.

"Well, he's an older guy," Dominique giggled. "Um, black hair...". The girls sat in puzzlement wondering who it could be when Victoria strolled over to the group.

"Top of the morning, chaps," she said tapping her a fruit hat on top of her head.

"Vicki, where's your wizards hat?" Kaylyn asked in shock.

"Lost it," she said with a shrug, then turned to everyone. "We all have Potions, so meet you there," she said then turned and leaped on some boy's back. "To the Dungeons! Mush!" she hollered whipping him.

"Come on then," Nicole said and leaded the way, and everyone else followed to the Dungeons, where everyone sat in groups of three. Nicole, Breanne and Janelle sat around one table while Kaylyn, Dee and Vicki took the other.

"There he is!" Dee whispered excitedly and the girls spun around to see the mysterious guy and watched as Snape stormed into the room.

"EW!" they screamed, but Dominique simply sighed dreamily.

"That'll be 5 points from Ravenclaw and Gryffindor," Snape said coldly, and Nicole and Janelle grinned, while the other girls grumbled.

"Turn to page three hundred and thirty seven, instructions are on the board," he said tapping his wand. "You have an hour,".

"Isn't he GORGEOUS!" Dee swooned to Kaylyn, who stared at her blankly. "Sure,". Kaylyn rolled her eyes to Breanne and leaned towards her. "Isn't she so stupid-" she began but stared at Breanne, who had large hearts in her eyes, and she was staying at the Slytherin table, eyes glued on Draco Malfoy.

"Oh god," Kaylyn groaned smacking her forehead. Nicole waved to her and pointed at Janelle, who was wearing the same dreamy expression, also gazing at Draco.

Vicki slipped over to a group of Hufflepuff boys and sat with them calmly. "Hey guys check out my shirt," she said pulling her shirt up from beneath her robes. 'IT IS SO COOL, I mean I ironed it on myself," she said pointing at the backwards image.

"Um, cool," one of the boys said while staring at the others who shrugged hopelessly, then began talking about the upcoming Quidditch season. "Do you like Quidditch?" the same boy asked Vicki.

"Quidditch?" she repeated. "Well, it's alright I suppose," she said giving them a queer look as if they were crazy. "But honestly, my shirt? Best shirt ever,".

Janelle stood up out of love, and strolled over to Draco Malfoy, and sat down between him and Goyle. "You sir," she breathed. "Are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on,". She stroked his hand. "Whatcha doing tonight big guy? Hmm?" she asked with a grin and a wink.

"YOU WILL NOT TOUCH HIM," Breanne shouted standing up on the table. She dove across the room and tackled Janelle, and Draco, Goyle and Crabbe jumped out of the way, knocking their potion onto Breanne and Janelle, who were engaged in battle. The potion poofed around him, and Breanne was in a Superman costume, and Janelle was in a gorilla suit. Using her amazing gorilla powers, Janelle leaped and caught onto the ceiling, and swung around so fast in circle, Breanne got dizzy, nearly falling over. But she shook her head quick, and pulled out a gadget and threw it at Janelle, turning her into ice. The whole time the class watched, frightened.  
"ENOUGH" Snape shrieked then pulled them by the collar and dragged them out of his classroom. "To the Headmaster with you two!" he snapped.

Nicole returned to chatting with Kaylyn as if the whole incident never happened. "Yeah so I says to Maple I says,"

"Who's Maple?" she asked frowning.

"You seriously don't know who Maple is?"

"Errr nope,"

"I can't believe you!" Nicole shouted at her, then jumped up on her table, and pointed her finger around the class. "Back in my day people showed respect! It was back in 1972, I was out at sea, battling a dolphin," she went on dramatically, then fell over asleep, then drooled and rolled off the table. The puddle of drool caused the flame under Kaylyn's groups' cauldron to go very small.

"Don't you worry, I have it under control," Vicki said rolling up her sleeved, then squatted next to the cauldron and farted, making flames shoot out everywhere, and Dominique who had been sitting close got a blast of it, and her eyebrows had singed off and her face was black. She blinked. Class ended, and everyone ran out of class, terrified of these Muggles who were invading their school.

The next class was Slytherins and Ravenclaws in Care of Magical Creatures, and Hagrid had instructed them to watch after the small little lizards he had given them, and if they survived by the end of class, there was full marks.

"I've forgotten yur lettuce slices and feed!" Hagrid gasped then tore off towards the castle to fetch it.

Nicole slipped her lizard into her pocket, and watched to see what her friends were doing. Kaylyn had attached a leash and collar to both Janelle and Breanne, who were snarling over each other, after being talked to by the Headmaster.

"Now friends, there's no need to fight," Nicole reassured them. "You just need a little," she grinned slyly. "MUSIC, LIGHTS AND DANCING!". The area went dark and everyone clutched onto each other, then Nicole reappeared on a stage, with a band.

"Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feeeeel" she sang and everyone stared.  
"My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheeeelll," Touching yooooooou, touching meeeeeeeeeeee, touching you, god you're touching meeee,". She bounced around for the chorus.  
"I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart There's a chance we could make it now We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down I believe in a thing called looooooove Ooh! Guitar!" she jumped up in mid air, then landed in the splits, and a guitar dropped from the ceiling and she took it and played away on it furiously.

Everyone stared.

"Oh yeah," Breanne said ripping the leash, then she snapped her fingers, and music for the Black Eyed Peas Lets Get It Started played, and Breanne exploded into a dance routine. The class formed a circle around her and a clapped to the beat as she busted her moves. Sweat trickled her brow as she danced, and then ended with several pelvic thrusts.

The class broke into wild applause and Kaylyn then took the stage. A fast Spanish song began to play, and she was wearing tango shoes. She glanced slyly at the class before tapping away, feet going at a mile a minute. The class all were suddenly wearing Mexican hats, grabbed a partner and began to tango.

"WAIT, MY TURN!" Janelle shouted shoving Kaylyn out of the way, where she went flying and landed somewhere in the Forbidden Forest. Everyone went quiet before some disco music began to play. Janelle bobbed her head, a fro and disco outfit completing the look. She grooved, then broke into song.

"Oh won't you take me to, funky town? Won't you take me to funky town? Won't-"

"WHAT THE RUDDY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU LOT ARE DOING!" Hagrid roared, and that ended the very funky, music and dancing class.

(Just some, random songs that were on my playlist. Anywhos...LUNCH IS UP NEXT, AND...YEAH,) 


	4. Love Potion

(Looooove is in the AIIIIRRR)

Ron, Hermione and Harry sat down for lunch, after a very strange Care of Magical Creature's class indeed.

"I'm telling you, they're not normal muggles!" Ron said shaking his head to his two best friends.

"Definitely not," Harry said thinking of the Dursleys, then again they weren't too normal themselves. 

"Ron," Hermione said glancing at him disapprovingly. Vicki same slipping by and squeezed in between Harry and Hermione.

"Hello good chaps," she greeted then grabbed the jug of pumpkin juice, and swung a sip, then spitted it out, covering Ron in it.

"Ugh! What is this vile liquid!" she demanded. Ron made a noise of disgust as he wiped himself off, and Hermione kindly turned to Victoria.

"Well, you see," she said speaking slowly. "It's pumpkin juice, and-". She stopped talking, seeing how Vicki had got up and crawled across the table, knocking everyone's goblets down and trampling through their food to sit over by Fred and George Weasley and Lee Jordan, who seemed to think this muggle girl was highly amusing.

Harry froze, feelings someone's hand grazing through his hair gently. "There's one behind me, isn't there?" he asked through his teeth, and Hermione nodded.

Nicole hugged Harry tightly from behind and then slid over on his lap. Harry sat frozen, and looked at Ron and Hermione with pleading eyes.

"Er, hello," Hermione said and Nicole glanced at her coolly, before extending a hand to shake. Hermione went to grab it, but Nicole pulled her hand away.

"TOOO SLOW!" she shouted and then slapped a DUMMY sticker on her forehead. While Hermione was busy trying to rip the sticker off her forehead, Nicole smiled brightly at Ron and Harry. Her eyes wandered, spotting Vicki. "HI VICTORIA OF GRYFFINDOR HOUSE!" she said waving to her. Ron and Harry glanced at Vicki who had jumped up on the table and began doing a jig and kicking food in everyone's faces in the process, and Nicole quickly slipped something into Harry's drink.

"You know I think it's time for class," Harry said annoyed, and shoved Nicole along to the Slytherin table, then heaved a sigh, muttering 'Muggles,'.

"And now there's nothing left to drink either!" Ron complained looking at the mess Vicki had caused. "You don't mind, do you Harry?" Ron asked picking up his goblet. Harry shook his head, and Ron took a sip from Harry's goblet, suddenly looking dreaming. "I've got to make her mine!" Ron declared jumping up.

Hermione and Harry stared at him in surprise. "Er, who Ron?" Hermione asked then winced, managing to take the sticker off, leaving a mark on her forehead.

"Nicole," Ron sighed dreamily gazing at her lovingly. "Please, just, let me," he said starting to walk but Harry and Hermione grabbed him and dragged him to Charms.

The fourth year Slytherins made their way to Transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs.  
Nicole sat down grumpily with Janelle, and Dee made her way over as well.

"How did you love potion work out?" Janelle asked, poking her wand at the ferret in front of her, turning it blue.  
"Ron drank it, not Harry!" Nicole said un happily, and Dee looked to Janelle. "How are you and Draco?"

"Well, today he spat on me and even told me to shut up," Janelle said brightly. "What about you and Snape?"

"Well I think I'm his favourite student," Dee said, puzzling herself.

MEANWHILE IN CHARMS...

The Gryffindors sat along with the Ravenclaws, all practicing a new spell.

Kaylyn and Victoria sat chatting, while Breanne, in a janitors outfit, swept the classroom for no apparent reason.

"So how's it going!" Vicki asked squeakily.

"Fine," Kaylyn said politely, and Vicki winked and nudged her. "Any boys caught your eye?".

Kaylyn raised her eyebrows. "Don't you know?"

"Know what?" Vicki asked digging around her ear with her finger.

"About my boyfriend, silly,"

'WHO," she demanded and the whole class jumped in fright.

"Cedric Diggory," Kaylyn said smiling slightly.

Vicki goggled at her and Breanne crept over.

"I'm going to get Draco Malfoy!" she announced triumphantly, and stood up and heroic music played, and a wind whipped at her hair and she stared forward

Kaylyn cleared her throat, and the music stopped abruptly. "Doesn't Janelle like him too?" she asked.

"Yeessss," Breanne said growling and she barred her two front teeth threatening, then sat up happily. "But I got a plan to win him over," she said nodding impressively.

Vicki who was half listening as she used her wand to scratch her back, looked at Breanne lazily. "And what will you dooo?" she asked squeakily.

"Whatever it takes," Breanne said nodding. "I deserve JUSTICE," she shouted banging her fist on the table, and Professor Flitwich who was at the end of the table was sent flying off by the force.

Vicki watched for a moment before looking back at her friends. "Well I like Fred, George, Lee, Dean, Seamus, Ernie, Davies,-". She began and did not finish her until the end of class and as they were heading to the Great Hall. "Peeves, Neville,-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Breanne yelled and ran away to the safety of the Ravenclaw table. Kaylyn glanced at Vicki who continued to ramble on and slunk away to the Hufflepuff table, and sat down with Cedric Diggory, where he smiled and slipped his arm around her.

Meanwhile, Ron sat at Gryffindor table, and stared across the Great Hall pathetically at the Slytherin table, eying Nicole. He heaved an enormous sigh. "She looks so wonderful in the light of the candles doesn't she?" he swooned Harry who glanced over at his shoulders and looked at Nicole and Janelle who were doing German polka on top of the table.

"Er, whatever you say mate," Harry said shaking his head.

Hermione came up and sat down in between her. "Hogmeade trip this weekend," she informed them as she piled food on her plate.

"Excellent! I'll ask Nicole to go with me!" Ron said excitedly, and Harry and Hermione glanced at each other.

Dumbledore surveyed the students from his place at the staff table. Dee was sitting alone, but didn't seem to mind as she watched Snape dreamily, Kaylyn was cuddled up with Cedric, Janelle and Nicole were still showing off their German polka dance moves, Breanne was buried in a book of dark spells and Vicki was sitting with a group of unfortunate Ravenclaw boys, and was talking about her shirt again. The Headmaster shook his head, and put his fingertips together, and watched interestedly. "How delightful.." he muttered to himself. "How delightful indeed.."

(What will happen at the Hogmeads Visit? STAYED TUNED NEXT CHAPTER!) 


	5. Battle

The morning started off at the Gryffindor table with Vicki squished between two 1st years, demanding their opinion on her purple vest which she had found in the men's section at Value Village. They nodded and forced smiled until she turned away, and crawled over to her seat, which she had forced two Hufflepuff boys to make it look like her absurd olive green comforter at home. Further down, Hermione and Harry stared at poor Ron, who was gazing over at Nicole who was picking something out of her teeth, then spat it out, and it hit a 5th year Slytherin in the side of the face. Harry looked down as the Slytherin fell to the ground, screaming and writhing in pain. Suddenly, ambulances sirens rang through the hall. Students looked around wildly, then spotted the cause, and stared blankly before turning away. Breanne cruised through the rows of tables in a mini ambulance, until she finally reached the Slytherin table. She jumped out of her miniture ambulance, adjusted her hat and winked at a near by boy.

"Wh-what are you doing?" the Ravenclaw boy stammered.

"I'M SORRY, NO TIME FOR AUTOGRAPHS, THERE'S A LIFE IN DANGER," Breanne said smashing her palm upwards towards his nose, and striding towards her patient.

"OH GOD MY NOSE! ARG! IS IT BROKEN? IS THERE BLOOD?" the boy screamed, holding his nose. "Why would you do that!" he cried.

Breanne, un-daunted by the interruption, kneeled by the wounded Slytherin. "It'll be okay," she whispered, putting a supportive hand on his shoulder. "Your going to be okay," she said assisting to drag him in unwillingly into her ambulance. She turned her head to the other Slytherins and shook her head. "I don't think he's going to make it!" she whispered loudly before jumping back into her ambulance and cruising off.

Harry stared. "Did..did you see that!" he stammered, pointing with both hands.

"See what?" Ron asked with a happy sigh, leaning on his fist, watching Nicole. Harry threw up hands up and stormed off. Vicki spotted this and grabbed her peppermint spray and aimed for her mouth and missed and instead it hit her ear, before she took off after him.

Dominique walked over un happily to the Slytherin table, and sat beside Nicole and Janelle. "You guys, me and Snape...it's not working out too well,"

"Why's that?" Janelle asked screwing a tampon up her nose.

"Well, I mean, first he was giving me detention all the time, because I was too distracted by his good looks to do my work or homework," Dee began and Janelle nodded, eyes crossed. "And I thought it was because he wanted to spend time with me! Boy howdy was I wrong. He made me do all this hard work, I think he's playing hard to get," Dee concluded finally, tapping her chin. "J-Janelle?" she asked gazing around. "N-Nicole?" she asked looking at her curly haired friend. Nicole made a popping sounds with her lips then grabbed a rug and wrapped a screaming Dominique in it before rolling it out of the Great Hall, then sitting back down.

Janelle had ventured off, and held another tampon to the boy with the bleeding nose Breanne had injured. "Tampon?" she offered with a wink. "It's really absorbent of nose bleeds,"

Ron stood up, taking deep breaths. "Okay, okay I'm going to do it. I'm going to go over there,"

"Good luck, sonny!" An old grandmother said and patting his knee.

"Who are you?" Ron asked staring.

The grandmother stood up, then ripped off her costume, revealing Harry Potter.

"Harry?" Ron asked weakly.

"No, it's not Harry, it is I!" Harry shouted ripping off his costume to reveal Vicki. Ron narrowed his eyes at her before stomping off towards the Slytherin table, where he stopped infront of Nicole and pointed at her.

"Hey you"  
"Me"  
"Yeah you"  
"What about me"  
"Just you," Ron said cutely, then stroked her cheek. "Your, your face, and your eyes," he said gesturing to them. "Your little, nose," he said tweaking it and it made a honking sound.

"What choo going with this, Moe?" Nicole demanded.

"No I'm Ron!" he said brightly. "But you can call me Moe if you want to," he said then added a naughty giggle. "DOYOUWANTTOGOTOHOGMEADEWITHMETODAY?" he screamed together.

"Okay," Nicole said, and Ron cantered back to his table, swooning. "I'm in looovee! She said yesss!"

Janelle, who was magically back beside Nicole, leaning over and squinted at her. "What'd he want?"

"Wanted to know what I thought of Hogwarts's new hottest couple, Cedric Diggory and Kaylyn. He also wondered if I thought they were acceptable," Nicole said nodding.

"Oh," Janelle said softly, before disappearing under the table and starting to polish Draco's shoes. He didn't seem to mind her as a personal slave, and allowed her to do so, but ignored her otherwise in the process.

-LATER THAT DAY IN HOGSMEADE-

Kaylyn was too busy to be much in this chapter, with her making out with Cedric all over the tables in the small coffee shop, Madame Puddifoot or some atrocious wanna be French name. Breanne was located in the middle of Hogsmeade, in a fort made out of cardboard boxes and cushions. She stared out of the two peep holes, watching a rolled up rug come spinning and rolling down from the castle, then un ravelled, revealing Dominique, who got up unsteadily, holding her head. "Did I just get laid?" she asked out loud before walking off drunkenly towards the Shrieking Shack.

Vicki was following after a group of 6th year Slytherins, making comments about how wonderful her ensemble today was. They rolled her eyes and one of them pointed their wands at Vicki.

"Silencio!" he shouted and the boys ran off, and Vicki continued walking merrily, lips flapping and making no sound. She skipped over to Brenane's box and knocked and let herself in.

"DON'T MAKE A SOUND JUST LISTEN!" Breanne shouted as soon as Vicki entered. "I plan to confess my love to Draco today and make him my lover. But you see, Janelle wishes to make him hers, so I must act quickly, and possibly engage in battle," Breanne said heroically, then stared down at Vicki who was sitting in a small boat, asleep, the suddenly water had come from her drooling. Breanne snuck out and then suddenly, Hogsmeade was quiet. The streets were empty, all the students were pushed to the side. Janelle stood, at the far end of the street, watching Breanne, who did a ninja flip and jumped into action, and stood 20 feet across from her.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" The students chanted, and their prize, Draco, sat in a throne in the middle towards the sides, smirking.

Breanne put her hand into her pocket, drawing a pirate sword, and Janelle did the same, pulling out a wooden cane, and the two rushed at each other, weapons raised- 


	6. Newbies

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere back in Canada, a tall boy of 6'2 paced back and forth in his room. He had silky hair that fall over half his face, in a sandy blond bob. He started hyperventilating. "WHERE," he said between gasps. "ARE. MY. FRIENDS!" he screamed falling to his bedroom floor twitching and flailing his arms. Todd had fallen seriously worried when his close friends, Breanne, Nicole and Victoria had suddenly disappeared. He didn't exactly care about the other 3. He shoved on his jacket and with his excellent long legs, ran all the way to Nicole's house. He banged away on the door until it creaked open, a hazel eye peering out at his tall figure.

"WHERE'S NICOLE BREANNE AND VICTORIA," Todd shouted and burst in. "MY FRIENDS! I NEED MY FRIENDS!" he cried. "FRIENDSHIP...IT'S THE ONLY THING I'VE GOT!"

Nicole's other brother of 17 years of age straitened up. "I don't know," he replied. "However, there is a bunch of mysterious sprinkles downstairs that I suggest you investigate," he told Todd, who leaped away.

"Jesus! What's you're problem! Don't touch my penis man!' he scolded and Nicole's brother stared at him and backed away slowly when suddenly the door swung open again and Sariah stood there magnificently, her waist long wavy blond hair whipping in the wind behind her like a flag. She stood at 5'7 and propped her hands on her hips.

"What's going on here, children?" she asked kindly looking around.

"If you haven't noticed our friends have gone missing!" Todd wailed, then grabbed Sariah's wrist. "COME. There's a clue down stairs!"

"You gotta find the 2nd paw print, that's the 2nd clue! You put it in your note book because it's who's clues? BLUES CLUES!" Sariah sang. "You gotta.."

"Shu..." Todd said staring at her. "Shut up," he said and she obeyed. They arrived downstairs, and Todd seized a box and peered inside it. "There's a whole world in here!" he cried out in amazement.

"Lemme seeee!" Sariah sang and everything turned into slow mo as she charged towards Todd and she bumped into his fall figure and the two of them tumbled into the box, yelling and screaming until they a middle of the street.

"MY BODY!" Todd squealed. "My ass! Oh my god! S.O.S! Dear god it burns!" he screamed and Sariah, who had landed under him grumbled and pushed off a whimpering Todd. While Todd inspected him bum, Sariah stood up and looked around then screamed. She and Todd seemed to be in the middle of a battle scene, Janelle and Breanne were on either side, bellowing and thrashing towards them.

"STOP! LOOK!" Nicole shrieked pointing at Sariah and Todd. Everyone stopped abruptly and turned and looked at them.

"Hello children!" Sariah greeted happily and Todd's eyes lit up at the site of his friends. His long legs kicked out as he ran towards them and scooped Breanne, Nicole and Victoria into his armed and squeezed the living daylights out of them.

"Friends!" He gushed smothering his face into they're necks.

"GETOFF," Breanne screamed kicking and squirming out of his grip, while Nicole and Victoria continued to hang in his arms, Nicole gurgling and Victoria still fast asleep. Breanne bolted across the yard and grabbed Draco from his throne, hoisted him on her back and then took back off running towards Hogwarts. This whole time Janelle stood there, looking crestfallen, then fell to the ground sobbing. after losing her lover. Sariah who had no clue what was going on, strolled over and patted her on the back. "There there old bean," she reassured. and then looked up at the other girls for an explanation, but they were all turning and heading back to the castle.

"Hey wait up!" Sariah called grabbing her long skirt in her hands and catching up after them. "What is this place? Where are we?"

"We are in Hogwarts!" Nicole replied happily, who was still in the arms of Todd with Vicki, who continued to carry them after Janelle, Sariah and Dee.

"YOU WILL HAVE TO BE SORTED INTO HOUSES!" Victoria roared suddenly, and Todd dropped her out of alarm. She bonked her head and then fell unconscious, so Janelle grabbed her by the foot and proceeded to drag her back to the castle. They arrived at the Castle, and word of the two new comers must have spread quickly because the Sorting Hat was rested upon the stool, grumbling to itself. And 10 minutes later Sariah was sorted into Ravenclaw, and Todd sat tall amongst the Hufflepuff. Nicole slithered her way like a friendly serpent through the legs of students and popped up at the Hufflepuff table between Dee and Todd.  
"So what's the 411?" Asked the blond dumb Dominique.

"WELL," Nicole began grabbing Dee's supper and pulling it towards her and taking a sip from Todd's goblet. "Everyone thought Kaylyn and Cedric were the hottest couple but WATCH OUT, Breanne and Draco are on the scene, and she's got instant popularity now," she said nodding.

"Our friendship will be ruined!" Todd suddenly wailed. Nicole and Dominique looked at him questioningly. "With everyone and they're boyfriends there's no room for FRIENDSHIP," Todd screeched, tears flooding his eyes. Nicole stared at him, and then sank over to the Ravenclaw table. It was missing a Muggle. Nicole's poo mixture colored eyes drifted back along the Slytherin table where Breanne was sitting with Draco, popularity oozed and dripped all over her. She looked back at the Ravenclaws, and noticed Kaylyn was snuggling up to Cedric. Sariah looked sad and pathetic, sitting there by herself. Nicole leaped through the air and landed on her feet and legs and galloped like a horse through the rows of tables. She soared between Sariah's legs so she was on her back, riding her.

"WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZES!" Sariah screamed as Nicole tore off and then made a screeching halt at Gryffindor table for a visit. Vicki peaked out of her fort, which had been forced by slave labour of two 3rd year Gryffindors.

"What's going on here!" She demanded and slide out in her PJ pants she made herself and won first prize in a hick town Fashion Show. The pants were tight and had pink and black arrows, the white high collar shirt held a ripped off print of a cassette in the pocket, and pink and black arrow sleeves.

"Nothing," Sariah and Nicole calmly replied, sitting down on the bench looking sharp.

"TELL ME!" Vicki insisted and when Nicole and Sariah shook they're heads no Vicki started throwing a temper tantrum. "TELLMETELLMETELLMETELLMETELLME!" she screamed.

"Tell you what?" Sariah asked smartly but Vicki was eying after a group of 6th years and started making a list of all the things she suddenly wanted. Janelle suddenly appeared out of thin air, or perhaps she was there the whole time and no one noticed.

"I have news of a ball," Janelle announced and all the girls sat up straighter, listening intensively. "It's a Masquerade Ball, like we wear masks!" she finished excitedly.

"Like this one!" Nicole asked grabbing a brown paper bag and shoving it on her head. It had two eye holes and she peered at them all suspiciously.

"NO!" Janelle screamed and grabbed a pedal and smacked Nicole and beat her down. Everyone stared as Nicole screamed and finally fell from view, under the table. Janelle straitened up and continued speaking. "I have a master plan, and by the end of that night, Draco will be mine!"

(DUN DUN DUNNN) 


	7. Dates

The Masquerade Ball was the only thing talked about throughout Hogwarts the following week. It was held on the Saturday night and it was already Thursday, and students were frantically trying to find dates. Kaylyn and Breanne were secure with they're popular dates, Cedric and Draco. The other girls however weren't as lucky. 

"I think it's cause we're Muggles, that no one wants to ask us," Vicki said very seriously to Nicole, Janelle, Sariah and Todd that morning. They were all standing outside the Great Hall after an especially delicious breakfast. The 4 friends didn't have the heart to tell Victoria why she probably wasn't being asked. She had wanted to dye her eyebrows brown, but had left the dye on her whole forehead, insisting that you were suppose to dye the hairs up there. "Yeah," Nicole said and she stopped suddenly, feeling a hot breath breathing down her neck. She turned around and looked up into the freckled face on Ronald Weasley. She eeped.  
"YOU. DIDN'T. MEET. ME. IN. HOGSMEADE. FOR. OUR. DATE!" he screamed, face turning red to match his hair.  
"Uh," Nicole said staring up at him with wide eyes. "See yeah!" she said then took off running, her bag swinging wildly behind her. Like a savage animal chasing it's pray, Ron let out a roar of fury and wild jungle music played in the background and he tore after her down the corridor. "Is she going to be okay?" Todd asked, looking after them with an expression of serious concern. "I mean should I get him off her? What if she trips, what if he KILLS her? Should we"  
"SHUT UP, YOU'RE SO ANNOY-ING!" Janelle burst out angrily in a Pakistan voice.  
"Getting dates is easy as candy is dandy!" Sariah said nodding her head calmly.  
"OH YEAH WISE GUY?" Vicki chirped in a high annoying voice. "Oh yes," Sariah said then with her head high, she swung off, hair swinging behind her gracefully. She returned 2 seconds later, a twinkle in her eye. "I got a date"  
"WHAT," they all yelped. "WHO"  
"Some nice chap named Seamus!" she said happily before skipping off to class.

The Ravenclaws and Slytherins were exiting class, and Kaylyn and Breanne were chattering away about what they were going to wear to the ball, how to do they're hair. Nicole rested behind with Janelle, who was eying after Breanne darkly. "Oh she'll be sorry..she's going to regret that," Janelle was muttering to herself. "Oh she's going down..milk and carrots..she'd better watch out,". Nicole was too busy checking over her shoulder for Ron to listen to Janelle's threats. "Got any DATES," Breanne asked suddenly, turning around and looking at them, a cruel smile playing around her lips as her gaze landed on Janelle, who shook with silent fury.  
"Nope," Nicole said shaking her head, using her watch to scratch her nose. Kaylyn wrinkled her nose slightly.  
"I'm of course going with Ceddy," She said with a naughty giggle. "Yes," Nicole said slowly, now twirling her wand through her brown ringlets, and it caused them to turn vibrant pink.  
"OH. MY. GOD, DID YOU GUYS KNOW I'M GETTING MY HAIR DYED PINK FOR THE BALL-" Vicki screamed as she headed towards them and stopped and looking at Nicole and her hair, then stopped, face screwing up. "YOU COPIED ME I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" she shouted then turned off on her heel and charged off.  
"Mmm kay," Kaylyn said staring after her but seemed to be the only one that took notice, then headed off to lunch. Janelle also stormed off, and Nicole turned to Breanne and opened her mouth to spill the Magical Secret Plots of Janelle but Breanne had trotted off and dove into Draco's lap, where she sat up and went to kiss him on the cheek but got him in the ear, where she proceeded to make out with his ear, kissing and licking. Nicole widened one eye, squinted the other and scooted over to others to see who had gotten dates. Todd apparently seemed popular with the ladies as tons of fangirls kept racing up to the Hufflepuff table and begging him to go with them. Dominique refused to go with anyone or ask anyone else until Snape would ask her, but no one bothered to point out that he would never. "So who are you gunna take?" Nicole asked turning to Todd, who was staring transfixed into a hand mirror which he was angling at himself and was fretting over his hair.  
"Some Lavender or something," he said boredly then sighed at his hair. "This is a DISASTER, my hair is HORRIBLE.  
Nicole and Sariah peeked at it to see that it looked the same as always. Vicki came up, this time with shocking white blond hair. "Hah!" she snorted at Nicole then sat down, where she was asked who she was taking.  
"Oh about.." Vicki began counting off her fingers. "7, 8 guys? And 2 girls,". They all stared at her, even Todd broke away from checking himself out to stare at her. She winked at them before jumping on the back of a fellow Gryffindor who was passing and hitching a ride with him. They heard him screaming as he thrashed out of the Great Hall, trying to remove Vicki. "Why don't you ever sit at you're proper tables ANYWAYS," Todd demanded. He seemed to think with them floating around him, fewer girls would admire him because they would think he was taken with at least one of them.  
"Because Hufflepuffs are less judging!" Sariah said with a sincere smile. She excused herself and then shuffled over shyly to the Gryffindor table and sat down beside Seamus.  
"That's it!" Nicole said firmly as she stood up. "We're getting REAL dates, c'mon," she said into a walkie talkie, and Victoria came zipping back.  
"We are?"  
"Of course"  
Nicole stomped towards Gryffindor table, eying the trio.  
"Oh my god oh my god oh my god," Ron whispered frantically to Harry as he watched his love and her insane blond friend approach. "SHE'S COMING OVER HERE! How do I look?"  
"Uh-" Harry began but Nicole tapped him on the shoulder and he looked round at her.  
"Do you want to go to the ball with me?" She asked smiling sweetly.  
"I er"  
"Great! Meet you there at 8:00 then, alright?" she said happily. "Oh, and uh, Ron"  
The redhead turned and looked at her, moments earlier his face bright his anticipation, watched the love of his life ask his best friend to the ball, his face drooped considerably, and he held back his sobbing tears but stopped as she addressed him.  
"Y-y-ye-yes?" he stammered, eyes widening.  
"Do you want to take Vicki?"  
"HELLO!" Vicki cried leaping in front of her friend and waving madly at her fellow Gryffindor.  
Ron's face scrunched up. "'Kay," he said glumly. "EXCELLENT!" Nicole breathed. "Well, uh, bye,". She scurried off to Slytherin table where Janelle informed her miserably that Terrance Higgs, the old Slytherin Quidditch Seeker had asked her and she reluctantly agreed. Nicole nodded, then gazed around. All was set. Breanne and Kaylyn were going to fight to the table with be crowned Queen while Draco and Cedric would struggle to be King. Sariah was with a quiet, pleasant boy Seamus, Todd would escort Lavender Brown of Gryffindor. Nicole didn't know what had come of Dominique, and she and Vicki were of course going with the two male members of the trio. She sighed a breath of relief. Only 2 days until the ball.

(Finally got this one up. Er, STAY TUNED! It's missing some question marks (?) I know. I'm too lazy to add them back,)


End file.
